As you can see I'm not a very good blogger, its not that I don't have lots to say to you or that I don't want to do it. It's just, in all honesty, I'm quite a quiet person. I have lots of introspective qualities and I guess with my job and having a one year old most of my days are spent exploring my extravert side. So often when I do get time on my own, I tend to sit with my thoughts & not do much except observe them. Enjoying a bit of quiet and silence to sit with how I might be feeling. So if you do like to read blogs, I'm sorry I go away for long periods, I will try to do better.
What's been on my mind lately is a few things, firstly how precious our time together is. I often think about leaving Bedford again and going to live by the sea, maybe abroad, maybe in the UK. But what stops me is my friends and family, I have such a wonderful network of what i think of as all being my family. If I was to leave to explore a new place to live, I'd be leaving what is my home but most importantly my family. We all to often take for granted those quick chats over coffee, a friend to swim with, a catch up at yoga, a walk with the babes, and I think right now I can't leave that wonderful family......But maybe we'll return to those thoughts another day.
Secondly, doubtfulness as been a king pin in my chitta vrtti lately. I'll swing away from it, but it will be another branch that my monkey mind grasps for once more. It's a silly thing we do to ourselves, doubt our ideas, our abilities, our choices. We have all taken our paths because this is where we are meant to be! Yes? So why do we think, am I good at this? does this person like me?Should I try something different? Do I think the same as that person? Should I be feeling this? Why? SOOOOOOO HUMMMMMMMM. This is me, I am that. Trust your thoughts, trust in who you are, and most importantly be true to yourself. Self doubt, judgement and criticisms can DO ONE. I am choosing to let this go...off you go. No longer will I question the things I trust within me.
In letting that second little tree branch go I have found space for something better, happiness. Happiness in where I am and what I am doing and with who I have in my life. This is not always an easy feat, to be happy with how our lives are unfolding, especially if all the shit seems to be coming your way. So all you can do is keep trying, keep getting on your mat, keep doing your thing, keep your head high and your heart open and always let those friends and family in for some more love, you can never get enough of that oxytocin!!
So peace my Yomies, and so much love. Mwah xxx
